{"id":2186,"date":"2021-04-06T20:46:27","date_gmt":"2021-04-06T20:46:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/?p=2186"},"modified":"2022-09-27T14:43:44","modified_gmt":"2022-09-27T14:43:44","slug":"the-ache-of-belonging","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/the-ache-of-belonging\/","title":{"rendered":"The Ache of Belonging"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id='av_section_1'  class='avia-section main_color avia-section-default avia-no-border-styling  avia-bg-style-scroll  avia-builder-el-0  el_before_av_section  avia-builder-el-first  inner-heading-area  container_wrap fullsize' style='background-color: #222222;background-image: linear-gradient(to right,#222222,#00aeef); '  ><div class='container' ><main  role=\"main\" itemprop=\"mainContentOfPage\"  class='template-page content  av-content-full alpha units'><div class='post-entry post-entry-type-page post-entry-2186'><div class='entry-content-wrapper clearfix'>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-ketvxyew-fd2803b4eb1c14056cc10c0b4eaa89a1\">\n#top .av_textblock_section.av-ketvxyew-fd2803b4eb1c14056cc10c0b4eaa89a1 .avia_textblock{\nfont-size:20px;\ncolor:#ffffff;\n}\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 480px) and (max-width: 767px){ \n#top .av_textblock_section.av-ketvxyew-fd2803b4eb1c14056cc10c0b4eaa89a1 .avia_textblock{\nfont-size:20px;\n}\n}\n\n@media only screen and (max-width: 479px){ \n#top .av_textblock_section.av-ketvxyew-fd2803b4eb1c14056cc10c0b4eaa89a1 .avia_textblock{\nfont-size:18px;\n}\n}\n<\/style>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-ketvxyew-fd2803b4eb1c14056cc10c0b4eaa89a1 '   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock inner-landing-text av_inherit_color'  itemprop=\"text\" ><h2>The Ache of Belonging<\/h2>\n<\/div><\/section>\n\n<\/div><\/div><\/main><!-- close content main element --><\/div><\/div><div id='av_section_2'  class='avia-section main_color avia-section-default avia-no-border-styling  avia-bg-style-scroll  avia-builder-el-2  el_after_av_section  el_before_av_section  inner-img-col  container_wrap fullsize' style=' '  ><div class='container' ><div class='template-page content  av-content-full alpha units'><div class='post-entry post-entry-type-page post-entry-2186'><div class='entry-content-wrapper clearfix'>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-kn6h7bna-217f828e8d66d546016c053be8d4a858 '   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p><em>Guest Blogger: Terra Starr Smith, Counselor, Podcaster, Writer, Follower of Joy.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/section>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-av_heading-37fd2afe2498cf77dff82502f71911df\">\n#top .av-special-heading.av-av_heading-37fd2afe2498cf77dff82502f71911df{\npadding-bottom:25px;\ncolor:#222222;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-av_heading-37fd2afe2498cf77dff82502f71911df .av-special-heading-tag .heading-char{\nfont-size:25px;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-av_heading-37fd2afe2498cf77dff82502f71911df .special-heading-inner-border{\nborder-color:#222222;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-av_heading-37fd2afe2498cf77dff82502f71911df .av-subheading{\nfont-size:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='av-special-heading av-av_heading-37fd2afe2498cf77dff82502f71911df av-special-heading-h2 custom-color-heading  avia-builder-el-4  el_after_av_textblock  el_before_av_two_third  no-uppercase basic-title'><h2 class='av-special-heading-tag'  itemprop=\"headline\"  >Belong &#8211; to go along with. <\/h2><div class=\"special-heading-border\"><div class=\"special-heading-inner-border\"><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-e7tjl6-e31de657ca14c4fa09f72025d3f51d6e\">\n.flex_column.av-e7tjl6-e31de657ca14c4fa09f72025d3f51d6e{\nborder-radius:0px 0px 0px 0px;\npadding:0px 0px 0px 0px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='flex_column av-e7tjl6-e31de657ca14c4fa09f72025d3f51d6e av_two_third  avia-builder-el-5  el_after_av_heading  el_before_av_one_third  first flex_column_div av-zero-column-padding  '     ><p><section  class='av_textblock_section av-kn6h7bna-217f828e8d66d546016c053be8d4a858 '   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p>\u201cYou only are free when you realize you belong no place \u2014 you belong every place \u2014 no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.&#8221; <em>&#8211; Maya Angelou<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/section><br \/>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-khuoo1cl-ce781f115f1bca6731491b2a01d2617a '   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p>\u201cDoes he talk at all?\u201d a little boy asks as he stares down at me from the monkey bars and points to my nine-year-old son spinning around on a piece of playground equipment. It is a question I handle often. Being outside is an immense joy in Finn\u2019s life. We get extra excited when we happen upon a space with adaptive equipment. It is a beautiful day with a clear blue sky, there are just enough people at the playground, and Finn is having a lot of fun watching the other kids play.<\/p>\n<p>I turn my attention to the curious little guy and state, \u201cHe cannot talk with his mouth, his name is Finn, you can say hi to him, and he knows what you are saying.\u201d The next question is hard to answer when anyone asks and more complicated when a youngster inquires. \u201cWhy can\u2019t he talk?\u201d I explain that Finn has autism, and I take a deep breath. In the warmth of the sun and the laughter of the other kids, I have relaxed and let Finn play without my usual hypervigilant supervision. Now, I am pulled back to reality and the varied truths that my son is autistic, he is different, and he wants to play with friends. He wants to be included and belong.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/section><\/p><\/div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-d0vrfu-05e8f311c7e4957c066a567e31bfee3b\">\n.flex_column.av-d0vrfu-05e8f311c7e4957c066a567e31bfee3b{\nborder-radius:0px 0px 0px 0px;\npadding:0px 0px 0px 0px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='flex_column av-d0vrfu-05e8f311c7e4957c066a567e31bfee3b av_one_third  avia-builder-el-8  el_after_av_two_third  avia-builder-el-last  flex_column_div av-zero-column-padding  '     ><p>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-kn6hm1xm-7cc99d5ceea82ac81542458ffc1736c3\">\n.avia-image-container.av-kn6hm1xm-7cc99d5ceea82ac81542458ffc1736c3 img.avia_image{\nbox-shadow:none;\n}\n.avia-image-container.av-kn6hm1xm-7cc99d5ceea82ac81542458ffc1736c3 .av-image-caption-overlay-center{\ncolor:#ffffff;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='avia-image-container av-kn6hm1xm-7cc99d5ceea82ac81542458ffc1736c3 av-styling- avia-align-center  avia-builder-el-9  el_before_av_textblock  avia-builder-el-first '   itemprop=\"image\" itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/ImageObject\" ><div class=\"avia-image-container-inner\"><div class=\"avia-image-overlay-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" class='wp-image-2189 avia-img-lazy-loading-not-2189 avia_image ' src=\"https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-13-scaled.jpeg\" alt='' title='Image-13'  height=\"1556\" width=\"2560\"  itemprop=\"thumbnailUrl\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-13-scaled.jpeg 2560w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-13-scaled-600x365.jpeg 600w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-13-300x182.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-13-1030x626.jpeg 1030w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-13-768x467.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-13-1536x933.jpeg 1536w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-13-2048x1245.jpeg 2048w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-13-1500x912.jpeg 1500w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-13-705x428.jpeg 705w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2560px) 100vw, 2560px\" \/><\/div><\/div><\/div><br \/>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-kn7i914a-5e879acaad95f9755f051705c221bd78 '   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p><em>Photo: Terra Starr Smith and Sara Sell<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/section><br \/>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-kn6hm1xm-403f28e67206f142d9c3341546d88b67\">\n.avia-image-container.av-kn6hm1xm-403f28e67206f142d9c3341546d88b67 img.avia_image{\nbox-shadow:none;\n}\n.avia-image-container.av-kn6hm1xm-403f28e67206f142d9c3341546d88b67 .av-image-caption-overlay-center{\ncolor:#ffffff;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='avia-image-container av-kn6hm1xm-403f28e67206f142d9c3341546d88b67 av-styling- avia-align-center  avia-builder-el-11  el_after_av_textblock  el_before_av_textblock '   itemprop=\"image\" itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/ImageObject\" ><div class=\"avia-image-container-inner\"><div class=\"avia-image-overlay-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" class='wp-image-2187 avia-img-lazy-loading-not-2187 avia_image ' src=\"https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-12-scaled.jpeg\" alt='' title='Image-12'  height=\"1529\" width=\"2560\"  itemprop=\"thumbnailUrl\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-12-scaled.jpeg 2560w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-12-scaled-600x358.jpeg 600w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-12-300x179.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-12-1030x615.jpeg 1030w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-12-768x459.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-12-1536x918.jpeg 1536w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-12-2048x1223.jpeg 2048w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-12-1500x896.jpeg 1500w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-12-705x421.jpeg 705w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2560px) 100vw, 2560px\" \/><\/div><\/div><\/div><br \/>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-kn7i914a-5e879acaad95f9755f051705c221bd78 '   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p>Visit <a href=\"https:\/\/normalwithautism.com\/\">normalwithautism.com<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div><\/section><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><!-- close content main div --><\/div><\/div><div id='av_section_3'  class='avia-section alternate_color avia-section-default avia-no-border-styling  avia-bg-style-scroll  avia-builder-el-13  el_after_av_section  el_before_av_section  inner-img-col  container_wrap fullsize' style=' '  ><div class='container' ><div class='template-page content  av-content-full alpha units'><div class='post-entry post-entry-type-page post-entry-2186'><div class='entry-content-wrapper clearfix'>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-bgzl62-b1707d831ecc3efcfcd816fe77bbd2e9\">\n.flex_column.av-bgzl62-b1707d831ecc3efcfcd816fe77bbd2e9{\nborder-radius:0px 0px 0px 0px;\npadding:0px 0px 0px 0px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='flex_column av-bgzl62-b1707d831ecc3efcfcd816fe77bbd2e9 av_one_third  avia-builder-el-14  el_before_av_two_third  avia-builder-el-first  first flex_column_div av-zero-column-padding  '     ><style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-kn6hat62-6ab572bee59c91b012cc62f84dc2bb1e\">\n.avia-image-container.av-kn6hat62-6ab572bee59c91b012cc62f84dc2bb1e img.avia_image{\nbox-shadow:none;\n}\n.avia-image-container.av-kn6hat62-6ab572bee59c91b012cc62f84dc2bb1e .av-image-caption-overlay-center{\ncolor:#ffffff;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='avia-image-container av-kn6hat62-6ab572bee59c91b012cc62f84dc2bb1e av-styling- avia-align-center  avia-builder-el-15  avia-builder-el-no-sibling '   itemprop=\"image\" itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/ImageObject\" ><div class=\"avia-image-container-inner\"><div class=\"avia-image-overlay-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" class='wp-image-2190 avia-img-lazy-loading-not-2190 avia_image ' src=\"https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-14-685x1030.jpeg\" alt='' title='Image-14'  height=\"1030\" width=\"685\"  itemprop=\"thumbnailUrl\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-14-685x1030.jpeg 685w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-14-scaled-600x902.jpeg 600w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-14-200x300.jpeg 200w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-14-768x1154.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-14-1022x1536.jpeg 1022w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-14-1363x2048.jpeg 1363w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-14-998x1500.jpeg 998w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-14-469x705.jpeg 469w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/Image-14-scaled.jpeg 1703w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 685px) 100vw, 685px\" \/><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-9fyrtm-cb2d3589161e5ba60eaddc3a97576952\">\n.flex_column.av-9fyrtm-cb2d3589161e5ba60eaddc3a97576952{\nborder-radius:0px 0px 0px 0px;\npadding:0px 0px 0px 0px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='flex_column av-9fyrtm-cb2d3589161e5ba60eaddc3a97576952 av_two_third  avia-builder-el-16  el_after_av_one_third  avia-builder-el-last  flex_column_div av-zero-column-padding  '     ><section  class='av_textblock_section av-ketwijng-0a4d487a88da2aba98c3d645cd824347 '   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock inner-text-heading'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p>Playgrounds are, in a way, the first tests of belonging when we are young in school. From the time we enter kindergarten, we hope to hopscotch our way into a group of friends that will help us navigate the elementary schoolyard trial and tribulations. We soon realize that belonging and not belonging means the difference between connection and disconnection, the difference between inclusion and exclusion. \u201cYou can\u2019t play with us\u201d conjures for most of us at least one memory of being excluded. We quickly learn how important it is to belong in the place where we spend eight hours a day.<\/p>\n<p>The feeling of not belonging is so powerfully uncomfortable we often investigate the effects of exclusion. A 2011 study noted the substantial overlap between social rejection and physical pain. The authors state, \u201cActivation in these regions (of the brain) was highly diagnostic of physical pain, with positive predictive values up to 88%. These results give new meaning to the idea that rejection \u201churts.\u201d They demonstrate that rejection and physical pain are similar not only in that they are both distressing &#8211; they share a common somatosensory representation as well.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When we do not belong, we hurt. When full humanity is not extended to a person, regardless of ability, it hurts. Autistic individuals face significant barriers to belonging, and the many myths of autism fuel these barriers to inclusion. Many believe autistic people do not want social interaction or love, and this is not true. Unfortunately, autistic persons of color and their families face even more substantial barriers to belonging.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/section><\/div>\n<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><!-- close content main div --><\/div><\/div><div id='av_section_4'  class='avia-section main_color avia-section-default avia-no-border-styling  avia-bg-style-scroll  avia-builder-el-18  el_after_av_section  el_before_av_section  inner-img-col  container_wrap fullsize' style=' '  ><div class='container' ><div class='template-page content  av-content-full alpha units'><div class='post-entry post-entry-type-page post-entry-2186'><div class='entry-content-wrapper clearfix'>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-7s4x8q-efff1c1cde119e80a7c755a90d540712\">\n.flex_column.av-7s4x8q-efff1c1cde119e80a7c755a90d540712{\nborder-radius:0px 0px 0px 0px;\npadding:0px 0px 0px 0px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='flex_column av-7s4x8q-efff1c1cde119e80a7c755a90d540712 av_two_third  avia-builder-el-19  el_before_av_one_third  avia-builder-el-first  first flex_column_div av-zero-column-padding  '     ><section  class='av_textblock_section av-ketwijng-0a4d487a88da2aba98c3d645cd824347 '   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock inner-text-heading'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p>Recently, I spoke with Maria Davis-Pierre, the Founder and CEO of Autism in Black Inc. Her organization aims to bring awareness to Autism Spectrum Disorder and reduce the stigma associated with the diagnosis in the black community. She is a licensed therapist, and we talked about the Black parent experience when you are raising a disabled child. \u201cWe have stigmas that we have to deal with not only inside our community but outside of our community that cause a lot of barriers. Our experiences are different just because we are Black. When we are talking about support systems, we have to navigate those things differently because we are Black and we have a disabled child.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She cited studies that discuss how \u201chelping professionals\u201d do not even want to discuss the autism diagnosis with Black mothers because of the stigma that those moms are \u201cjust trying to get a check.\u201d She also discussed the school system and how the type of language used on Black children\u2019s Individual Education Plans (IEPs) further stigmatizes them.<\/p>\n<p>Maria shared the experience of her autistic daughter\u2019s IEP paperwork and words used by the teacher to describe how her daughter is \u201cnot good at resolving conflict.\u201d Maria explained Black children are wrongly seen as more aggressive than their white peers at very young ages. This wording served to further label her daughter as combative and different and did not address the real issue of her daughter\u2019s anxiety. Amazingly, but not surprisingly, the simple wording on an official school document can mean the difference between inclusion or exclusion for an autistic child.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/section><\/div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-55mkoa-825400027fd675168dce060665549e8f\">\n.flex_column.av-55mkoa-825400027fd675168dce060665549e8f{\nborder-radius:0px 0px 0px 0px;\npadding:0px 0px 0px 0px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='flex_column av-55mkoa-825400027fd675168dce060665549e8f av_one_third  avia-builder-el-21  el_after_av_two_third  avia-builder-el-last  flex_column_div av-zero-column-padding  '     ><style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-kn6hat62-271902838df20a550b21b53762cfe960\">\n.avia-image-container.av-kn6hat62-271902838df20a550b21b53762cfe960 img.avia_image{\nbox-shadow:none;\n}\n.avia-image-container.av-kn6hat62-271902838df20a550b21b53762cfe960 .av-image-caption-overlay-center{\ncolor:#ffffff;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='avia-image-container av-kn6hat62-271902838df20a550b21b53762cfe960 av-styling- avia-align-center  avia-builder-el-22  avia-builder-el-no-sibling '   itemprop=\"image\" itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/ImageObject\" ><div class=\"avia-image-container-inner\"><div class=\"avia-image-overlay-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" class='wp-image-2188 avia-img-lazy-loading-not-2188 avia_image ' src=\"https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/image0.jpeg\" alt='' title='image0'  height=\"640\" width=\"455\"  itemprop=\"thumbnailUrl\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/image0.jpeg 455w, https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/04\/image0-213x300.jpeg 213w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 455px) 100vw, 455px\" \/><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><!-- close content main div --><\/div><\/div><div id='av_section_5'  class='avia-section alternate_color avia-section-default avia-no-border-styling  avia-bg-style-scroll  avia-builder-el-23  el_after_av_section  el_before_av_section  inner-img-col  container_wrap fullsize' style=' '  ><div class='container' ><div class='template-page content  av-content-full alpha units'><div class='post-entry post-entry-type-page post-entry-2186'><div class='entry-content-wrapper clearfix'>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-ketwijng-0a4d487a88da2aba98c3d645cd824347 '   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock inner-text-heading'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p>How do we cultivate a sense of belonging in our autistic loved ones and especially in autistic persons of color? What steps can we take to practice inclusion and acceptance? It starts with extending full humanity to all autistic individuals. We must allow people with autism to show up fully as themselves in all spaces and offer the financial, medical, and mental health and community resources to families who help support autistic individuals. We must do the anti-racism work in our schools, communities, and business places to address critical gaps in those offered resources and continue to build local, state, and national policies that seek to make it easier for those with autism to fully participate in their communities. We need to fully fund public schools and allow teachers and students to have what they need to imagine a truly inclusive setting. And finally, we need to center autistic voices and follow the lead of Black activists and parents like Maria.<\/p>\n<p>The most fundamental human need is to belong. As Dr. Angelou stated \u201cThe price is high. The reward is great.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div><\/section>\n\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><!-- close content main div --><\/div><\/div><div id='av_section_6'  class='avia-section main_color avia-section-default avia-no-border-styling  avia-bg-style-scroll  avia-builder-el-25  el_after_av_section  el_before_av_section  inner-img-col  container_wrap fullsize' style=' '  ><div class='container' ><div class='template-page content  av-content-full alpha units'><div class='post-entry post-entry-type-page post-entry-2186'><div class='entry-content-wrapper clearfix'>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-av_heading-05b70ffeb4f91cc5dd4ac778b3e24ee3\">\n#top .av-special-heading.av-av_heading-05b70ffeb4f91cc5dd4ac778b3e24ee3{\npadding-bottom:25px;\ncolor:#222222;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-av_heading-05b70ffeb4f91cc5dd4ac778b3e24ee3 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-char{\nfont-size:25px;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-av_heading-05b70ffeb4f91cc5dd4ac778b3e24ee3 .special-heading-inner-border{\nborder-color:#222222;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-av_heading-05b70ffeb4f91cc5dd4ac778b3e24ee3 .av-subheading{\nfont-size:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='av-special-heading av-av_heading-05b70ffeb4f91cc5dd4ac778b3e24ee3 av-special-heading-h2 custom-color-heading  avia-builder-el-26  el_before_av_two_third  avia-builder-el-first  no-uppercase basic-title'><h2 class='av-special-heading-tag'  itemprop=\"headline\"  >Support of Autism<\/h2><div class=\"special-heading-border\"><div class=\"special-heading-inner-border\"><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-4f3poa-636e94bc8218704d42e9c814fbfcd0cd\">\n.flex_column.av-4f3poa-636e94bc8218704d42e9c814fbfcd0cd{\nborder-radius:0px 0px 0px 0px;\npadding:0px 0px 0px 0px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='flex_column av-4f3poa-636e94bc8218704d42e9c814fbfcd0cd av_two_third  avia-builder-el-27  el_after_av_heading  el_before_av_one_third  first flex_column_div av-zero-column-padding  '     ><section  class='av_textblock_section av-ketwijng-0a4d487a88da2aba98c3d645cd824347 '   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock inner-text-heading'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p>Yale Child Study Center, one of our <a href=\"https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/network\/\">network organizations<\/a>, provides support for those living with autism in a variety of ways.<\/p>\n<p>One avenue is through their faculty run program <a href=\"https:\/\/medicine.yale.edu\/childstudy\/communitypartnerships\/autismsupport\/girlswomen\/\">SELF<\/a> (Socialize, Experience, Learn, and Have Fun). SELF fills a gap by providing supports for girls and women on the autism spectrum. \u201cOver the last ten years, ASD interventionists and researchers have begun to appreciate that the development of socialization and communication processes for girls and women is quite different from that of boys and men&#8230;The initiative is designed to address these communication and socialization differences through recreational and communal activities. These activities allow our participants to pursue their particular interests and leisure activities in a safe and supportive environment.\u201d The SELF initiative allows for activities and interests to be explored through female peer groups, i.e., horseback riding and swimming. Great support in this area where autism and gender intersect.<\/p>\n<p>For more information about CSC\u2019s current research on autism and neurodevelopment, please visit <a href=\"https:\/\/medicine.yale.edu\/childstudy\/research\/clinical\/autism_neurodevelopment\/\">autism.fm<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/section><\/div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-2r7xne-e8dc3a992d21e2e996be5c4a153e957d\">\n.flex_column.av-2r7xne-e8dc3a992d21e2e996be5c4a153e957d{\nborder-radius:0px 0px 0px 0px;\npadding:0px 0px 0px 0px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='flex_column av-2r7xne-e8dc3a992d21e2e996be5c4a153e957d av_one_third  avia-builder-el-29  el_after_av_two_third  avia-builder-el-last  flex_column_div av-zero-column-padding  '     ><style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-kn6hat62-908f84312f7fe85303398bc5aaa96cf0\">\n.avia-image-container.av-kn6hat62-908f84312f7fe85303398bc5aaa96cf0 img.avia_image{\nbox-shadow:none;\n}\n.avia-image-container.av-kn6hat62-908f84312f7fe85303398bc5aaa96cf0 .av-image-caption-overlay-center{\ncolor:#ffffff;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='avia-image-container av-kn6hat62-908f84312f7fe85303398bc5aaa96cf0 av-styling- avia-align-center  avia-builder-el-30  avia-builder-el-no-sibling '   itemprop=\"image\" itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/ImageObject\" ><div class=\"avia-image-container-inner\"><div class=\"avia-image-overlay-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" class='avia-img-lazy-loading-not- avia_image ' src=\"https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2020\/09\/yale-child-study-logo.jpg\" alt='' title=''   itemprop=\"thumbnailUrl\"  \/><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><!-- close content main div --><\/div><\/div><div id='av_section_7'  class='avia-section alternate_color avia-section-default avia-no-border-styling  avia-bg-style-scroll  avia-builder-el-31  el_after_av_section  avia-builder-el-last  inner-img-col  container_wrap fullsize' style=' '  ><div class='container' ><div class='template-page content  av-content-full alpha units'><div class='post-entry post-entry-type-page post-entry-2186'><div class='entry-content-wrapper clearfix'>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-kn6h4s9r-2609cff40a6fd0ff3aeeb9733ebf6f2a\">\n#top .av-special-heading.av-kn6h4s9r-2609cff40a6fd0ff3aeeb9733ebf6f2a{\npadding-bottom:25px;\ncolor:#222222;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-kn6h4s9r-2609cff40a6fd0ff3aeeb9733ebf6f2a .av-special-heading-tag .heading-char{\nfont-size:25px;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-kn6h4s9r-2609cff40a6fd0ff3aeeb9733ebf6f2a .special-heading-inner-border{\nborder-color:#222222;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-kn6h4s9r-2609cff40a6fd0ff3aeeb9733ebf6f2a .av-subheading{\nfont-size:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='av-special-heading av-kn6h4s9r-2609cff40a6fd0ff3aeeb9733ebf6f2a av-special-heading-h2 custom-color-heading  avia-builder-el-32  el_before_av_textblock  avia-builder-el-first  no-uppercase basic-title'><h2 class='av-special-heading-tag'  itemprop=\"headline\"  >Final Thoughts<\/h2><div class=\"special-heading-border\"><div class=\"special-heading-inner-border\"><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-ketwijng-0a4d487a88da2aba98c3d645cd824347 '   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock inner-text-heading'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p>Our hearts were full as we read this <a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/lifestyle\/2021\/03\/22\/autism-linkedin-letter-employment\/\">Washington Post piece<\/a> about a young man named Ryan Lowry. Ryan is autistic and his recent outreach seeking a job (and the response it received!), speaks to the goodness in this world. No doubt there will be many who take \u201ca chance\u201d on Ryan. He and others living with autism are more than worthy.<\/p>\n<p>Word to the wise. Our differences make us stronger and better. Let\u2019s champion and celebrate the acceptance and inclusion everywhere.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/section>\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Guest Blogger: Terra Starr Smith, Counselor, Podcaster, Writer, Follower of Joy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":50,"featured_media":2189,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2186","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The Ache of Belonging - Defining US<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nycsel.com\/defining-us\/the-ache-of-belonging\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Ache of Belonging - 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